Is there anyone out there?

 

Originally printed in Citadel Journal #28, pages 82-89, copyright 1998

 

It’s ‘Is there anybody out there?’ the Journal’s letters/reply forum that lets you have your say.

 

Since the long awaited re-release of Blood Bowl it appears that everyone’s gone Blood Bowl barking mad.  We’ve included some of the best Blood Bowl letters along with the usual catalogue of praise, gripes, advice, and disturbing madness!

 

STUNTIES COMING HOME

I am writing to inform you of the enjoyment and ideas I have received from your games, especially over the last few weeks.  The letter that follows mainly concerns itself with the game of Blood Bowl but it also touches the surface of some of your other games most notably Warhammer 40,000.  I think that before I begin I should give you some background knowledge on my gaming experience.

 

I began gaming about 5 or 6 years ago after my brother introduced me to the original version of Blood Bowl.  I fell instantly in love with the games and there has been no looking back since.  I walked into Games Workshop Liverpool in July of 1992.  With my recently acquired birthday money I bought a paintbrush and a rat ogre for Warhammer, but I had no paints and ended up using my dad’s real paints in order to paint the model (no-one told me that the paints we sell are imaginary! – Ed).  I still have it today and almost no detail can be discerned on it!  Anyway from this one model I now have a collection of thousands.

 

I began buying miniatures and learning how to paint them just for fun at first.  This all changed, however, with the release of the updated Warhammer 40,000.   With this I began to collect armies and play the games.  I fell in love with the models and the way the games were played, they were just so different from anything else that I had ever played before.  I started going regularly to Games nights on Thursdays and entering every available tournament that I could.  My collection started with a Space Wolf army but at the time I couldn’t (and still can’t) stick to one army.  With the release of Codex Eldar I collected this weird and wonderful alien race.  I managed to stick faithfully with this army for some time (quite a feat for me).  I bought all of the new Codexes as they came out but none really caught my attention the way that Codex Eldar still did even after all this time.  Eventually I began collection Imperail Guard and have quite a sizeable army and for once I am almost entirely happy with my army (although I have recently had my soul tested by the dark gods of Chaos).

 

As new games came out I added them to my collection.  At times I have owned HeroQuest, Space Crusade, Space Hulk (twice), Warhammer, Necromunda, Man o’ War, GorkaMorka, and even the main purpose of this letter, Blood Bowl.  I owned the last version of Blood Bowl a few years ago but sold it in a car boot sales together with Death zone and a few boxed teams for just a few pounds (how foolish I look now).  However, I picked up issue 220 of White Dwarf and read that Blood Bowl is back.

 

I have to admit that at first I wasn’t over joyed as last time because I had no one really to play.  However, I went into Games Workshop Liverpool and started talking to one of the staff members (Anthony) and this immediately re-kindled the passion I had for the game a few years back.  I immediately rushed home and raided my back issues of White Dwarf (I have almost every one since issue 100).  I found the articles in White Dwarf since it was last out (about issue 172 to 190).  I read every article and then read them all again.  With my passion high I returned to Games Workshop Liverpool for an introductory game which gave me a quick refresher.

 

I was then told of a Blood Bowl tournament just three weeks away during the Easter Holidays.  I decided that I just had to be in it and was determined to win, or maybe come in second or get to the semi-finals, or second round at least!  It dawned on me that I had three weeks to buy a team, paint it and practice with them for the championship.  In order to give me as much time as possible I registered my team for the finals which were three weeks four days away.

 

I scoured the Blood Bowl and Death Zone rulebooks to pick my team.  I opted for Undead as I like their ability to Regenerate, but one of the articles that I read in an old White Dwarf nagged at me.  Who know what would have happened if I had mail ordered the Undead team that day and ignored that accursed article.   One thing I can be sure of is that I would not have had as much or deaths against me as I did!   The man I both thank and blame for the extraordinary string of events that were to follow is Jeremy Vetock.  He wrote an article on a Halfling Blood Bowl team and they seemed to be the perfect challenge to me (and to everyone else, no doubt! – Ed).  I mail ordered 13 Halflings and picked up a Treeman from the store against the futile attempts of friends and staff eager to stop me making a mistake?

 

Two weeks later I had my Halfling players and my Treeman assembled and painted ready for action.  Only now I realized that I had one week and four days to get my tactics sorted and the rules of the game straight in my head.  My first game was against the staff member Anthony who agreed not to kill more than five of my players if I didn’t score.  Sure enough this fired me up, I was ready for anything and I lined my team up for the first time.

 

My team consisted of the following:

13 Halflings:  Short Bread, Fat Boy, Lard-arse, Stumpy McGrew Flabogagan, Big Cahoona, Dark Horse, Toy Boy, Gambo, Mr. Flibble, Puggy Baconbreath, Fruit cake, Treeman Star Player Deeproot Strongbranch and myself Spudy OnionBreath.

 

1 Halfling Master Chef, 1 Apothecary, 3 Re-Rolls, and 5 Fan Factor

 

My team name was the ‘Cranberries’ and I ‘Spudy OnionBreath’ was the captain (my real name is Simon but everyone in Games Workshop Liverpool knows me as Spud).  I lined them up with my one tactic in mind which was to throw my Halflings with the ball.  I received the all via Touchback and threw the Halfling with the ball.  He scattered and then landed on his head killing him instantly!  I think I need to develop new tactics.  Consequently I was hammered 3-0 and had three players Seriously Injured.

 

I soon had challengers thick and fast eager to smash my team into a bloody pulp.  I played a Human team and again had three players injured, but halfway through the match I was only 2-0 down and had the ball.  I tossed the player who miraculously landed on his feet and scored, my first Halfling touchdown!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Eager to play again I challenged one of the people who had already won his respective day in the tournament and was a really good opponent.  His Undead team easily walked a 4-0 win and inflicted a whopping nine injuries, killing two Halflings and my Treeman.  Hmmm, back to the drawing board!  I retired and began afresh eager to learn from my mistakes.  I decided on playing a slower team for once and opted for a Dwarf team.  Miraculously (that Master Chef is just great!) I managed a 2-1 victory, even managing to inflict more injuries on his team than mine!

 

On a high, I challenged the Undead team which had forced me to retire earlier and I had learned from my mistakes.  A 3-2 win followed with me scoring on the last down of the game!  It was great stuff.

 

I then went on a roll beating High Elves, Humans, Chaos (one of my Halflings with Mighty Blow killed Lord Borak!), Orcs and I even had a 6-6 draw with Skaven, which was the best game I ever played.  On the last down of that particular match I need to make a Go for It to win and failed twice even with a re-roll (I knew there was a reason I swear more playing Blood Bowl than any other game – Ed.)   With my new and improved team I was unbeaten and wanted to prove to the disbelievers just how good Halflings can be.  My tournament game was coming up and boy was I nervous.

 

At high noon I entered the store, ready for action.  I was pleased with the draw as I faced the same Orc team that I had previously beaten.  Unfortunately I couldn’t see my opponent (in fact only tow other players turned up, which was a bit of a bummer).  Since the other two competitors (Wood Elves and Skaven) were drawn against each other I had to wait for a couple of hours and then got straight into the final. No-one could believe that Halflings were in the final (and less said about the opening rounds the better!)

 

I was up against Wood Elves who were 2-1 winners, but thanks to the Ratmen were down to seven men.  I began my first half by putting two of his players into next week with the Treeman while my Halflings ganged up on the rest.  One of them still managed to break through and score (they’re nippy little buggers that’s for sure), I couldn’t believe it.  At half time it was just 1-1 despite him being down to an utterly ridiculous five men!  At the end of the match I had won 4-1 and booted all but two of his players off the pitch by Fouling.  I couldn’t believe it, I was in the Cup Winner’s Cup and the Halflings had won the Blood Bowl.

 

Saturday came and the final draw for the Cup Winner’s Cup was made.  The only person that I didn’t want to meet was Ritchie with his Human team.  It might have been something to do with him being the North West gaming Champion and a master Blood Bowl player.  Sure enough he romped home with a 3-0 win, but I did manage to get his Mighty Zug sent off, another player sent off and killed both of his catchers, so I wasn’t too upset.

 

When I got home I placed my limited edition Blood Bowl trophy on my shelf (which is now painted, of course).  I always used to play games with more than a hint of seriousness but since playing with Halflings, which you expect to lose, it’s much more fun and you meet a lot more people.  So, a big thank you for releasing Blood Bowl again and rekindling a light hearted enjoyment of the hobby and a big thank you from Mr. Onionbreath as I am now known in the store.

Simon Burdett, Liverpool

 

 

STUNTIES:  HOW TO HANDLE THE LITTLE GITS

 

Now, we all know that Halfling teams aren’t the easiest team to coach out of all the other teams who can actually get other skills apart from Agility.  The Halflings are really cheap which enables you to field loads of Star Players as well as a fair number of actual players.  My own team, “The Mootland Marauders”, has both Jobo Hairyfoot and Puggy Bacon Breath (See Journal #9 and Journal #25 for these players).  The Treeman are also valuable additions to your team if you want them.  Although Halflings aren’t the strongest team either as the stronger teams, like Skaven, Chaos, and Orcs, can mop the blood-stained floor with them.  If you roll doubles, however, you can get some really good, useful, skills like Block, Tackle,and Dirty Player.  There aren’t many Halfling miniatures to choose from so I have used 2nd as well as 3rd season miniatures.  I have also used the Dwarf cook from the Dwarf Goblobber (if you ring the Trollz and ask for the Dwarf cook from the Goblobber in Troll #5, they should know what you’re talking about) as a Master  Chef and the Halfling Cook from the Hot Pot as an Apothecary (I know is sounds stupid, using a Halfling Cook as an Apothecary, but it’s sooooooo much easier to paint a huge, blotchy, red cross on that huge, chef’s hat) and I don’t think I should tell you my Head Coach model since everybody’s Head Coach reflects their own personality.

 

Now onto the strategy.  The best strategy I’ve used is bringing around three players towards the most powerful players and try to injure the big git!!  If you have a Treeman throw insults at your opponent (like ‘aaaaaah, ya wuss, betcha can’t touch my Treeman with yoor little Orcy-babys’) and he or she should eventually crack and send their team howling after the big guy.  He should be able to injure a few of them and even though he will get injured himself it won’t be for a while.

 

I have my own team that isn’t the best but it gives you an indication.

 

Jobo Hairyfoot (60,000 gps), Puggy Bacon Breath (90,000 gps), 12 Halflings (360,000 gps), 3 re-rolls (180,000 gps), Fan Factor 7 (70,000 gps), 3 Cheerleaders (now there’s a horrific thought – Ed)  (30,000 gps), and Assistant Coach (10,000 gps), and Apothecary (50,000 gps), and a Master Chet (150,000 gps).

 

You can change this list around to make it more useful.  Now, you may not be wanting to read anymore but I must say, if you’re thinkgin of making a Halfling team, use quantity in the place of quality.  In the words of Head Coach, Merrie Plumpfellow, ‘Mmmf, Mumph, Mmmmmmmffff!!!’, because this comment was spoken during the Coach’s iced bun, this probably means ‘We’ll do anything, so long as we get fed afterwards!!!’

Eion Dornan

discbray@indigo.ie

 

 

 

PITCH PROPS

 

When I purchased the 3rd Edition of Blood Bowl, I was overwhelmed with the quality of art-work and detail used for the pitch.  After my first games, I began to think how these artistic details could be used to a player’s advantage (or disadvantage in some cases) during the course of a game be it as a last desperate attempt to stop someone from scoring or just to aid in the spillage of blood (besides, it’s a bit of a laugh!)  So, I came up with these amusing rules which will appeal to those of you that have several screws loose:

 

Mushrooms:  Any player Going For It (into or out of this square) will need to roll a 3+ rather than 2+ because it’s slippery.

 

The Spill:  If, like me, you’re an avid Blood Bowl player, then I’m sure you’ve noticed the split barrel of Bugman’s by the side-line (what a waste).  The rules are as above but in addition, any Dwarf who enters an adjacent square must roll a dice, on a 1 or a 2 the player notices the beer going to waste and must move to the square with the spill and spend 1 point of movement having a drink (including as many Go For It rolls as necessary, even if it’s more than allowed, don’t forget the player needs a 3+) .  On a 3+ the player doesn’t see the spill and carries on.

 

Broken Glass:  If a player falls over in this square then when rolling for armour and injury, add the Mighty Blow modifier (this is in addition to any other modifiers).

 

The following items which may be picked up and used in a similar manner to picking up the ball.  Remember, a player can only hold as many items as he has hands!  Also, at the end of a half or after a Touchdown is scored, there is a chance he has been spotted by the Ref so make a penalty roll of 10+ to see if the player is spotted and sent off.  Be it successful or not, the item is always the thrown back to where the player found it.

 

Limbs:  Any player who picks up one of these tasty leftovers may use it when Blocking or Blitzing to aid in slaughtering opposing players.  It gives the player holding it +1 to their Strength.

 

Rocks/Skulls:  These items may be used in the same way as limbs but with the addition that they may be thrown at opposing players .  Roll as if the player was throwing the ball.  If accurate the target may attempt to catch it if he first roll a 4+ (5+ if it’s very sunny), otherwise the layer is pushed back and knocked over (as if hit by a player) away from the player who threw it (make armour and injury rolls as normal).

 

Bottles:  As for broken glass, but players may Block with and gain Mighty Blow.

 

Knuckles Dusters:  As for limbs but with a penalty roll of 11+.

 

Helmet:  The player wearing it gains +1 Armour for that play after which it is thrown back with no penalty roll.  Each time that player is hit, roll a dice, on a 1-3, the helmet is smashed (well it is second-hand!) and unusable for the rest of the match.  On a 4+ it survives the beating.

 

Skull and Helmet:  this just counts as a combination of two separate items.  See Helmet and Rocks/Skulls sections above.

 

Rat eating a hand:  While the hand is of no real use, the rat may be used in the same way as a rock/skull (see Rocks/Skulls section above).  However, you must roll a D6 and on a score of 1-3, the rat bites your hand and scampers off as you try and pick it up (unless the player is Skaven – family ties).  The player may do nothing else this turn.  If a player is hit by the thrown rat, they are pushed back and knocked over but don’t make an Armour or an Injury roll for the player.  By the way, the greedy little rat returns to the hand at the end of a half or after a Touchdown is scored.

 

Small Bones/applecore/eyes/ears/etc:  These things are far too small to be of any use but if you get really bored, you can have them as a quick snack if you really want to!!

Daniel Hayes, Winchester